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Nooma #17 and #18

Nooma video #17 is now available, and #18 should come out in November!

Nooma 017 TodayNooma 017 Today: How much time and energy do we spend wishing things were how they used to be? We often think about times in our past when things were different and want our lives to be like that again. Some of us have even come to believe that our best days may actually be behind us. But if we’re in some way hung up on the past, what does that mean for our lives now? How are we and those around us affected if we’re are not fully present? If we’re longing for the way things used to be, what does that really say about our understanding and appreciation of our lives today? Maybe we need to learn to embrace our past for what it is, in order to live our lives to the fullest, right here, right now.

Nooma 018 Name: We all compare ourselves to others. Some of us evenNooma 018 Name wish we were someone else. But why are we so concerned with what other people think, say, or look like? Maybe if we really knew our true selves, we wouldn’t focus so much on other peoples’ lives and live more in tune with the life God wants for us. The NOOMA series is comprised of short films with communicators that really speak to us. Each NOOMA touches on issues that we care about, that we want to talk about, and it comes in a way that fits our world.

Avoiding “Junk Hours” in Youth Ministry

Here’s great article sent to me by Suzanne Cate about how to better be intentional about meetings with volunteers and leaders so that the time spent will be more fruitful.  Same amount of time as you’re probably already doing, but a different focus. Check it out here.

Buns Charades vs. Acts 2

Here’s a great online article by Ken Moser from this month’s Journal of Student Ministries (click on the link to visit the JSM home page and subscribe to the free e-mail version) that suggests a hard look at what where doing in youth group meetings and why we’re doing what we’re doing…

Click here to download the pdf.

The Simpsons, Titan’s football, and the Spirituality of boys and girls

I’m working on a section for the youth worker’s manual (see the downloads under edt resources) and I’m trying to summarize how girls and boys approach spirituality. Now this might not be differences so much as comparisons, but I have a theory that the way that girls and boys approach spirituality is different along the way, even if the end result looks the same.21vemrywtql_aa_sl160_.jpg

To this end, I’ve been reading Losers, Loners and Rebels: The Spirituality of Boys, and trying to do some research on girls because there isn’t much out there that addresses the topic like this book does for boys.

Humans in general are drawn to stories that are bigger than theirs. If you want proof, go to a sports bar when the Titans (or insert name of local team) are playing, as Jody and I did this afternoon. People congregate around a common thing they find worthy (worship at its most basic definition), and fellowship around that common thing.

Now, as great as football is, it doesn’t answer life’s questions, especially when the Titan’s lose by 2 points after a nearly miraculous start to a final drive and an awesome comeback in that last part of the third quarter going into the fourth. Something in the universe just doesn’t seem right, but folks go home, pull of their jerseys with the number 10 on them, and go on about their lives.

But meta-narratives–overarching stories, stories that are bigger than our stories and give us some way to connect our stories and thereby make meaning of them–are the reason we have religion. People want meaning.

But, since men and women are actually different, I think it stands to reason that we approach spirituality differently. And what I’m wondering is where that starts, what that means for youth, and how we can better reach out to both boys and girls in our youth ministries.

Here’s a starting place. Where are the men in church on a Sunday? Look around, most churches have better than 60% (and that’s a modest number) women in their congregation. Maybe not up front in the vestments, but look in the pews. Where are the men? I found them. They were at Buffalo Wild Wings watching the Titan’s game.

It reminded me of that scene from the Simpson’s movie when the world looks like it’s ending as they are being sealed in a giant dome, and the people in the church and the people in the bar run out to see what’s happening. Except for the preacher, the people in the church are women, and the people in the bar are all men.

But it’s not just men who are absent from church, it’s young people. There’s that huge gap of missing 18-35 year olds–and that attrition starts at age 16, when they get their driver’s license, according to a new LifeWay study (Suzanne, do you still have a link to that, I printed it out, but I’m not sure I have the link any more…).

So what’s up, folks? And what can we do to change it? What have you noticed about girls and guys in your youth group? Perhaps if we each just start observing our kids, we’ll arrive at some ideas as to what’s different about their spirituality…

More on Harry from the Duck of Minerva

The Duck of Minerva has a thoroughly thought-out post on “What Harry Potter inherits from Star Wars.” This post discusses the way stories like this become constitutive myths for an entire generation.

I thought it was a great parallel between the two, especially because as myths, both stories have huge amounts of truth in them, as we’ve been discussing on the previous Harry Potter post. And anytime you have a myth with truth in it, there’s echoes of the true myth that is the gospel.

The Cost of Non-Discipleship

I’ve been reading Dallas Willard’s The Great Omission as I’ve been reflecting on youth ministry and discipling/mentoring. He reflects a bit on the mentality towards discipleship that seems to be the de facto heir of Dietrich Bonhoeffer’s The Cost of Discipleship. It seems that while Bonhoeffer’s excellent study on what it costs to be a disciple is quite accurate, we somehow have forgotten to balance that in our teaching with what the cost of not being a disciple is. Rather we let discipleship sound like it is something for the “super” Christian, not for the everyday variety, when in fact, discipleship and Christian ought to be synonyms!

Willard’s assessment of what it costs if we’re not active disciples is quite good.

“Nondiscipleship costs abiding peace, a life penetrated througout by love, faith that sees everything in the light of God’s overriding governance for good, hopefulness that stands firm in the most discouraging circumstances, power to do what is right and withstand the forces of evil. In short, nondiscipleship costs you exactly that abundance of life Jesus said he came to bring (John 10:10). The cross-shaped yoke of Christ is after all an instrument of liberation and power to those who live in it with him and learn the meekness and lowliness of heart that brings rest to the soul.”

See, somehow or another, we’ve been sold a false gospel in a lot of respects. Somehow the gospel has become rules, somehow the gospel has become about what not to do far more often than it is about the abundant life–life to the full!–that Jesus said was what he wanted to give to people.

Somehow or another the great commission has been read “go ye into all the world and make converts of people, baptizing them into your favorite brand of  Christianity and teaching them all your favorite brand’s pet peeves about what to do and what not to do.”

This isn’t the gospel. At best, this an induction into a Christian-like society, or worse, club.

Obviously, I’m painting with harsh brush strokes at the moment, but this is born of frustration recently discovered by shopping for books on discipleship. There are very few that are focused to church leaders on how to make disciples in your church.  Some of those few that are focused on that are actually doing it as a form of church growth (not that discipling won’t cause that, but they are focused exclusively on the numerical benefits, and not the actual process). Most of the books you find if you search for discipleship on Amazon are geared toward the individual, so that you personally can be a better disciple, and while these books aren’t “bad” there’s a serious lack of emphasis on community that must needs be an active part of discipleship.

What Harry has to say about youth ministry

I recently finished reading the long-awaited final installment of the Harry Potter series, and discovered several things the church could learn from Harry about what teenagers are looking for.

As early as the first book in the series, we learn that Harry is destined for a fight that could prove deadly. A terrible villain is looking for him and trying to kill him. Certain adults recognize this battle cannot be fought exclusively by them and that this young man eventually must face this villain. However, these adults, especially Dumbledore, some teachers, parents of his friends, and his godfather all work to make certain that Harry is equipped with what he needs before he faces the final battle that could kill him.

Starting at the age of eleven, Harry lives in constant awareness of the danger facing him. But he knows that unless he faces his enemy eventually, people he loves are going to get hurt and killed because his enemy won’t stop pursuing him. So he involves himself wholeheartedly in this fight, both being prepared by these mentors and helping teach other teenagers what he has learned.

And here’s the thing, the adults don’t prevent the teens from taking part in the struggle against evil. Wherever they can, they protect them. Whenever they can, they equip them, but they don’t pat them on the head and tell them to wait until they’re older and can be “real” members of the fight against evil.

Here is where we the church need to take notes. Kenda Dean, in Practicing Passion, talks about how teenagers are looking for something that they would be willing to die for. Teenagers are passionate, less cynical than most, and are still crazy enough to think they can actually make a difference in the world, something a lot of the rest of us too often forget.

And teens are not blind to the cost of such passion. Fighting for something means battle wounds. Teens are okay with that because if it’s worthwhile, it will always be worth it, even when it’s not fun.

This means that teens should be flocking to Christianity left and right because after all, where else do we see such a rich heritage of people willing to lay down their lives for what they believe it, or people persecuted for the simple act of claiming Jesus as Lord?

And this Jesus we claim is none other than the one who laid down his life for all of us, the ultimate act of a loving God. The passion of Christ both led to the cross, and was embodied in the cross. Jesus did battle against evil by giving up his life and then coming back again from the dead, thereby defeating the power of death. Sound familiar? Harry goes willingly to his death in order to stop Voldemort from continuing to do battle against the people he loves. As it turns out, this was the only way to destroy Voldemort (read the book for an explanation). And of course, it doesn’t kill Harry, he comes back to defeat Voldemort and save the day. While he didn’t defeat death itself or rid the world of all evil, the end of The Deathly Hallows shows us a teenager willing to die for his friends.

So if the parallel between what teens want and Christianity is so strong, where are they? Dean suggests the church “has largely sanitized love of suffering, leaving Christianity with a mealy-mouthed niceness that fails to ring true to young people who know in their bones that love and heartache go together” (p. 4).

How do we reach teens and draw them into the community of faith? We must rediscover the passion of Christ and the passion of martyrs all over the world who know all too well that love and suffering go together. Not only will we reach teenagers who are longing for something to be passionate about, but I venture a guess that we’ll discover something that’s been missing in our lives for far too long.

Thanks for the object lesson, Harry.

The importance of space…

The space the youth meet in speaks volumes to them, even though they don’t realize it. What they are looking for is not what you say you value, but what you show them you value, so if your youth space is cluttered and not set up for the worship time, no matter what you try to teach about valuing worship, your space says that you don’t.

This generation of youth has a different concept of what “true” is… “True” is what you live, not what you say, so no matter how much Biblical truth you teach them, if you’re not striving to live into it yourself, then they won’t see it as “true.” This goes far beyond any sort of post-modern denial of absolute truth, and is actually very biblical. I think in fact this concept is an embodiment of what James was talking about when he asks the believers he’s writing to: “What good is it, dear brothers and sisters, if you say you have faith but don’t show it by your actions? Can that kind of faith save anyone?” (James 2:14).

So, if the youth space is full of games, and arranged to make room for those, while the worship space is an afterthought, then the message recieved is that this youth ministry is all about the games.

Don’t get me wrong, games are important to community-building, but you don’t want that to be the focal point of your entire ministry.

Also, simply setting up your space as a classroom takes away from the worship element. I’m not saying it has to look like a mini-church, but churches are set up, when done well, to communicate the value of the sacred in the space. It’s a place where we can set aside the worries of our week and dedicate some time to the worship of our awesome God in the middle of a community of believers, and our youth worship spaces should do the same.

The games is just one example… walk into your youth room and ask yourself what is the focal point of the room? If you didn’t know this was a youth space at a church, what would the room tell you it was used for if you had stumbled across it out of context?

If we as youth workers are dedicated to being on a journey with the kids, to being in community with them, then our spaces need to show it…

Shrek the Third

I moved this from another blog. The original post was on May 22nd.

“Help! I’ve been kidnapped by a monster who’s trying to relate to me!” This from Arthur, the teenage heir to the throne of Far Far Away after Shrek musters every bit of slang you could possible cram into less than a minute of screen time in an attempt to “reach” the teenager and relate to him.

I’ve enjoyed all of the Shrek movies for the emphasis on being who you are and that looks are not all they’re cracked up to be, but I have to say that this line above is my favorite by a long shot, and I can’t wait till the movie comes out on video.

After all, I think that it captures the feelings of many a teenager when an adult tries to be too much like them, thinking that’s what it takes to relate to them, when in fact teens are longing for adults to be adults and to just love them and come along side them and start walking through life with them.

No urban dictionaries needed here, folks. You can just be you, love kids, and hey, you’re in youth ministry…

Welcome!

…to ymCafe! Make some noise and let us know you’re here…

See anything that doesn’t look right?  Think of something you think would be a good addition? Post a comment!